Modern Family S01E01

12 Dec 2023

Why are you guys yelling at us when we are way upstairs?

Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.

Gloria, they are O and 6. Let’s take it down a notch.

He spent the first half with his hand in his pants!

I’ve wanted to tell her off for last six weeks.

We just adopted her from Vietnam

We had initially asked one of out lesiban friends to be a surrogate

No, thank you. Ick.

Everybody fawning over Lily, and then you walk on and suddenly it’s all, “Ooh, Sky Mall. I gotta buy a motorized tie rack.”

This baby would have grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn’t for us “cream puffs”

Note to all of you who judge.

Love knows no race, creed or gender.

We would like to pay for everyone’s headsets.

Excalibur.

I’m having a friend over today

Fight in the sun.

I might as well just tell him not come.

Charge the camcoder.

I’m hip.

They’re only plastic BBs.

Deal with this.

And now you have to follow through.

You know, Gloria, that little blowup with that other mom.

Cause that’s where you live, down here. But I live up here.

You’re gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants.

She barely slept on the plane and she’s still wide awake.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

But apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing…where it retains nutrients some sort of molecular physiology thing.

We are floating above her, always there to protect her.

We tore you away from everything you know.

Your fathers are floating faires.

I invited them over for dinner tonight.

You’re an avoider

Let me meet this “playa”.

I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation.

I put my thoughts into word and now my words into action.

You ever see a bullfighter?

And I don’t care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.

Stop being a gloomy goose.

And I can smell that hair goo of his from here.

She gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.

Let’s get a pretzel.

We ask that alll mall-walkers stay to the right.

You wanna help me with the frosting?

Would you ever pretend she has a mono for few a months?

This senior at school was “out sick” for four months, but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding as a coin-op car wash.

And how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother who’s really my nephew.

So, soak it.

I was just dropping off some laundry.

The next you’re lying underneath the air hockey table with your bra in your pocket.

Would you get in the spirit of things?

And I wnat you to just come straight out with it.

Sports guy chest bump.

May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap?

Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby?

You’re a little uptight.

Kids bring chaos.

Let’s all “chillax”.

You’re better off.

I mean, it’s not like I wrote the book on fatherhood.

Let me see the little pot sticker.

Hey, you’re a cutie, aren’t you?

Love is what binds us, through fair or stormy weather.

Get that weak stuff out of my kitchen!